Alright, Alright...Gimme a Break...Tort

What I am doing is waking up at 3:00 in the morning because I can't sleep and then trying to take a nap whenever I can find my bed during the day because I haven't slept. Why can I sleep at noon but not at night? I don't know. I don't get it. Apparently it has something to do with turtles...or at least Tort. I went on a lovely two day trip for my anniversary and didn't have a bit of trouble sleeping. I guess because Tort stayed home. I got home on Monday and then woke up that night and worried about Tort being moved into the house. Where did Charlie put him? Is he on my carpet somewhere? Does he have a cage of some kind...I don't think so....I need to get him something. What about his food? None of that makes a bit of difference at noon but let me tell you at 3 AM, the troubles of Tort are paramount. Unfortunately I can't actually sleep at noon either because I have to work or go visiting teaching or homeschool Charlie or run north to help Jade...or something, something. So I find my bed again about 11 pm and 3 am hits again. Does Tort have any water? How do you water a Turtle in the house? What a mess it's going to make. How many days can a turtle go without water? I bet Missouri turtles need more water than our desert variety. All that water and humidity. Do we have a desert variety? I don't think so.